Friday, August 24, 2007 ;
12:33 PM
A friend told me to update my blog. Can you believe it? I'm being read! Haha..
Anyway, Rafiqah, I do apologize for dragging you out after the event for a bonding session, but if not then, when?
Mum's not feeling well these past few days but she doesn't want to take a few days off work. Bestfriend, Linnie is leaping over huge steps, with her room almost completed. I'm so excited for her, but yet at the same time, I'm being selfish when I say that I can't DEMAND time with her friday/sat nights anymore. Not that I do that a lot, but you get what I mean.
Sometimes, I just want to remain a little longer in this period of my life, where I can still be selfish. My time is my own. However, like she said, I'll get bored.
But, until then, can I?
I'm never one to take the future one day at a time, or let myself slide bravely into the distant time. I always worry over the uncertain. Some people can let go of their worries and sleep well at night. My mind's always thinking over short-term goals that need to be met, or long-term goals that need worrying over.
It's not paranoia, right?
I mean I worry over what's going to happen to my cat when he moves in? I mean, the situation now is that my mum is scared of cats, so when she's out of her room, the cat's in my room and vice versa.
Things are going to change, but I don't want them to.
I have to start getting excited. That would mean I'd have to stop thinking.
PM quoted
Nike, 'Just do it'. Haha. I thought that was clever.
I digress.
I've talked so much about how I don't want change to happen, but yet, some things about me most definitely must change. Like for instance, I have got to remember to follow instructions on doors, so that I do not embarrass myself in public. Like when it says, PULL, and I push as hard as I can, till the door could be seen vibrating and swinging, sometimes to my large forehead.
What can I do in such situations? Except crawl away in utter humiliation, or just act cool and walk away and pretend (hope) noone saw that, when in fact, it happened in clear view of everyone.
Like I have got to remember to cling on tight to my belongings when I walk in public. Something MUST fall. A key, a card, my phone.
Like I have got to remember to not buy too many things at one go, or I'll end up with lots of heavy bags to carry, whilst the ear phones are dangling from my neck and I'm struggling to answer that call or run for the bus, which ALWAYS seem to drive off the minute I get to the line, as if in mockery of my helpless situation.
Things like that.
I gotta learn to act cool. Be cool. Way to go Travolta.
play it softly, so gently♥
