Thursday, March 22, 2007 ;
8:53 AM
It's been a tough few days. I've had to battle uncertainty at work, which is ironic because it seems, this shuffles between work at home. I have to at least thank God for the fact that uncertainty shuffles between one for the other, if not I would have to find other means to keep myself sane.
Amidst all of the chaos and lethargy, I find my senses becoming more acute and fine-tuned, as they develop during the challenges I face at work. I have to stop being so naive and close-minded. And to stop trying too hard. That always seem to backfire and my actions will pit themselves against me.
But, a typical day would end with me staring blankly into nothing, in my seat, while surrounded by piles of books and teachers/students piling in and out of the staffroom. And that few minutes where my mind is a blank and at a standstill, leaves me feeling satisfied. It's as if that few minutes determine my sanity.
Sometimes, I ask myself, am I strong enough to do what I've set out to do? Can I find it within me to complete all of my tasks? Or should I just shut the hell up and just do it? I can't help myself. I just can't shut up. I just have to do something or say something. And in the end, I shoot myself in the dark.
We'll see what happens. I just have to be smart in making my next move. Ultimately, that uncertainty will stay. Like a piece of parasite. Damn.
PB's out. Woohoo, that certainly brings some lightness in my heart. Just gotta park it somewhere where my itchy fingers won't reach it. Haha. I've to think of June. Need the dough baby.
RIght, have to be up in exactly 6 hours time. Later.
play it softly, so gently♥
